We all know that a kid who's hungry can't focus on making good grades. 

But kids have other needs that are just as important.  They need to feel safe. They need to feel connected to the people around them. And they need to feel confident in their abilities and skills.

These are the pillars of emotional health.

If your friend was having an asthma attack, you wouldn't say: "what’s causing this?" 

Instead, you'd waste no time in figuring out what her needs are: can she breathe? Does she need to sit down? Then you’d work hard to meet those needs. 

Emotional well-being isn't that different.

It is easy to believe that most children are safe. But even if a child may be safe, he may not feel safe. He may be afraid of getting in trouble or letting a loved one down.

A child who feels safe knows that she can tell the adults in her life the truth about herself, and she will always be loved, no matter what.

Connection is more than just being in the same space as your child. Connection is doing activities that the child enjoys, even if you don't always enjoy that activity.

Connection is when a child feels their parent, teacher or friend really understands her.

After a child begins to feel safe and connected with those around them, he can start working on becoming confident in his abilities and develop pride in his work.

Keep in mind: it's more important to praise a child for the accomplishments she cares about, not just the ones that look impressive from the outside.

"It doesn't matter how many interventions we give a child—if their core needs to feel safe, connected, and confident aren't being met, you'll find it difficult to help that child. When those needs are met, children are remarkably resilient."

- Barbara Leavitt, MPA, founder of Help Me Grow Utah

"This approach is different from most other ones out there. It empowers parents. It empowers the child. If I could magically wish for one thing, I would wish for parents, on a daily or weekly basis, to look at their kids and ask themselves 'what can I do this week to help improve and facilitate my children's sense of safety, their connections, and their competence?'"

-Dr. Matt Swenson, child psychiatrist, Intermountain Healthcare

"I use this framework every day with my grandchildren. I used to focus on a sort of carrot and stick approach--but when I ask myself instead, 'what needs aren't met in this child?' I find that I'm more compassionate, a better listener, and ultimately a more effective grandparent."

- Jack Holmes, 6 kids, 28 grandkids, and 2 great-grandkids